I AM NAVARRO. TREMBLE, MORTALS, FOR I BRING YOU ROCK – ALBEIT NOW IN A MORE ACOUSTICY, THINKING MAN’S STYLE – AND LEATHER PANTS, AND… ERM… KITTENS. YES, I BRING KITTEN PILLOWS.

FEAR NAVARRO, MORTALS. FEAR HIM GOOD.

So it seems that Dave Navarro has worked with Epiphone to come up with a signature acoustic guitar.

And here it is. Decked out in scary black with a scary, ‘dead branches with crows’ pickguard and some scary hexagram inlays, this guitar will terrify any kitten you wish (except perhaps an evil kitten).

It’s a square shoulder, cutaway dread with a solid spruce top and solid mahogany back and sides. The neck is also mahogany while the fingerboard is frightening ebony. It’s got a bone nut which is always good (unless the bone comes from sacrificed virgin goats) and the scale-length along the compound-radiused board is 25.5″.

NAVARRO didn’t want to put his name on the guitar for fear that it may be incanted by unwitting guitarists which would invoke him at inconvenient times – during Dexter or something. Instead, he’s called the guitar Jane and the truss rod cover bears this moniker instead of his own, more dangerous one.

A Shadow NanoFlex pickup, teamed with an eSonic preamp makes deadly amplified noises that can be heard in the various dimensions where NAVARRO resides so keep it down after about nine thirty (ten at weekends).

More spine-chilling details at Epiphone. Check them out.

NAVARRO COMMANDS IT.